Saturday, September 23, 2017

"Only What You Take with You"


I'm going to do some ranting here so if the truth hurts, I don't apologize, just agree or move along. 
  Someone once said,  “No one hates Star Wars more than Star Wars fans.” That is a cold fact. It sickens me to agree with it, but it's true.  Having lived through the fake outrage over the Special Editions, the reception to the prequels by a small vociferous bitter minority, the select few who bitch about “The Force Awakens” and now the shitstorm because JJ Abrams' returns to the Director's chair for Episode 9;  I have no faith in a Star Wars fanboy or acknowledge anything that complain about since they now have zero creditably. 
  On a personal level, Star Wars fans are freakin Awesome! As a collective they are the worst humans ever produced. Every loathsome human trait is coalesced in one mass smelly, unwashed morass. 
  Most nerds have no idea what a Director even does so the outrage is laughable.  They could not name five living or dead legends outside of Spielberg or Scorsese. JJ did what many could not do, make “Star Wars” film without George Lucas in the mix, and still have it feel like Star Wars.  Why get angry over something most have no clue how it's done? 


Let us rewind a bit and see where and why nerds have fallen so low on the creditably scale.  The Prequels are misunderstood, period. Not flawless, but way over-hated. I can think of five franchises that are far worse in every respect. Much worse.,  MUCH Worse. 

Twilight 
The Hunger Games
Paranormal Activity 
 Pirate of the Caribbean 
 Lord of the Rings 
 The Howling  
 SAW 
 Underworld 

 If your last enjoyment for Star Wars was 1983, you are NOT a fan. You like three Star Wars films, but a fan you are not as there is tons more to the story.  No one rips chapters out of a book and claim it to be their best favorite of all time! Do they? I hate bread, sauce and cheese, but Pizza is my favorite food ever! No its not and leave it alone = NOT a FAN. 

 You only like Sean Connery as James Bond doesn't make you a fan of Bond, but a Connery fan as there are tons more films. I am James Bond fan because I love the character; Roger Moore is my favorite version, but I dig all incarnations so far= FAN. 


And The Force Awakens is NOT a remake of “A New Hope-” they share the same narrative beats in some ways, but that is far and away from a remake. That's a lazy excuse for those that have no clue what a narrative beat even means.  Facts are, there are similarities throughout the entirety of STAR WARS. To say this was a remake is to say the same for them all. They all have similarities; share shots, cues, character movements and plot points- things that we all look for is what we all love about STAR WARS = FAN. 

 There's a fairly new expression in nerd circles, that Trekkies are superior; they at least have their dignity. (No laughter please) They like what they like and move past what they do not. Star Wars cranks suck the life out of everything they touch and leave it radioactive. Refusing to let anything, “objectionable” go, declaring George Lucas enemy of the state, JJ is an, “evil Jew” and Kathleen Kennedy is pushing 'feminist agenda.” Not sure why making a female lead character strong and resourceful is a bad thing, but nerds aren't known for their consistency or smarts.  A symptom of today’s nerd culture and society in general, crybabies and wimps who want everything NOW and done their WAY!  When they start wishing the filmmakers dead and personally attacking their children, something is definitely skewed.

 I'm not saying you have to like it all, but when you start carving it up like a Holiday turkey, are you even a fan at that point? When does your rage outweigh the pleasure? And what's your problem? Do you only read half a book and call it good? 

 And hopefully let's put it to bed where it belongs- Disney does NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT dictate Star Wars content. They are merely the money and the distributors. They do not have sway or stomp their feet to kill the old EU. A move, by the way, done by Lucasfilm, set in motion long before the Disney sale began. EU was killed because Lucas was prepping his own Episode 7, but figured it was easier to not do it and just sale. Old EU was a convoluted mess that needed a mercy killing as it was looking like a Thalidomide baby; twisted and retarded by repeating itself and riddled with contradictions and bad storytelling. 


Fan boys and their wants are suspect anyway as they think they know whats better for anything they get their grubby clams on, yet they can’t gather enough energy to crawl out of the basement, take a bath or find a good job. They seem to forget, their memories are their own, but the property is not.
Fandom is often great, it builds a great sense of community, and collective love for a certain thing can be fun sometimes. Some of the most talented people I have ever met have been at sci-fi fantasy conventions. The kids who build those elaborate costumes are awesome, but then there are those cultist freaks who take it past the line with too much importance and seriousness. The fantasy and reality become blurred and the danger mode is engaged. It is cool to use Star Wars to escape reality, not let it become your reality.

 A perfect example of how fan boys can ruin it for all.  This goes back to the beginning of the prequel hate and how awful the mouth-breathers reveal themselves to be. The nadir of the Lucas tirades and Star Wars backlash was awful little story I read about in 1999 or so, shortly after the release of The Phantom Menace. At a premiere in Italy, Ahmed Best, the black actor who portrayed Jar Jar Binks, was jeered at by a gathered crowd who called at him “Nigger, Nigger!”

Ugh. How pathetic.

 Lucas is gone, it seems like nerds need a target and a villain in their constant struggle to be a SW fan. JJ and Kathleen Kennedy will be the new targets from the perpetual losers.  Instead of just enjoying the universe, it seems that some have to rant, rage and demand someone's head on a stick because the lights on the Falcon are white, instead of green, Greedo shot at Han or that Kylo Ren's facial scar is moved over a few centimeters to the left! 

 What is the purpose for complaining about such insignificant minutia? 



Let me make myself perfectly clear, the magic of these movies is not lost. The alterations do not change the impact these movies had on me when I first saw them and they certainly aren’t diluted now. I never felt like George Lucas has “raped my childhood’ with the prequels… because, I am not a child anymore. To talk about these movies from a perspective of how you saw them as a child is just that…childish. Your memories can not be robbed or diluted, they are yours and yours alone. Unless Lucas has the ability to reach across time and inside your head to erase, pollute said memories than he really is a dastardly brilliant mad genius.... but he's not so stop it. 

George Lucas, JJ Abrams, Disney, Lucasfilm, Kathleen Kennedy, are not your enemies! Carbohydrates and exercise might be, but they are not! 

 Disney didn't ruin anything since they are not in control of the ride.  As sad and scary as it was to read Lucas had sole Star Wars, it was a gift unlike anything we could possibly imagine. More saga films, some stand-alone, new television series., comic books and cool novels. What could possibly be there to irk the most jaded of all fans? I would guess that phrase right there is wrong- Jaded fan implies there is something inherently wrong in Star Wars. Guess, what? There isn't. It's your ego causing the problems, not the films/Universe. Your ignorance of how movies are made/produced and general lacking in knowledge of the Universe itself is the your true ire.  Remove ego and learn to be a good fan. Don't cherry pick, and split it the franchise up like an indignant douche bag. In the real world, if something is irritating, objectionable, (if we don't marry it- zing!) We get away from it- except those mental defects who call themselves Star Wars fans and feel compelled to be in a constant state of rage, annoyance and disappointment. Why? 

 So what gives? 

 Right before entering the Dark side Cave on Dagobah, Luke asks, “What’s inside?” Yoda’s reply, “Only what you take with you,” Luke took his Light saber ready for battle and saw a prophetic vision. A general life lesson, and one to use here with the enraged fan boys who take a battle stance every time Lucasfilm releases something, they are ready to pounce and are surprised that they are not only full of rage, but disappointment. They get what they expect, yet they do not want it (huh?). In watching the movies, they get only what they take with them. If disappointment and rage is what you covet, you get it. Way to go! It’s all on you!

Give it a rest and grow up! 



MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Where in the Galaxy is Luke Skywalker?

Who are Rey's parents and why was she on Jakku is on the tip of  nerd tongues everywhere. Come December, we hope to have answers. Most of all, what sent Luke over the edge and sent him into years of exile?
 I have a few theories, canon novel, “Bloodlines,” mentions Ben Solo is away from his family and being trained under Luke at his then-new Jedi Academy. But we later learn Kylo and his Knights of Ren, take over and kill all in sight.
 Is Rey's mother among them?

 From the tidbits in the film and some other audio books, I have no reason to think this is what went down, other than my roving imagination and determination to make sure the theory is not some crackpot, half-assed loser rambling coming from the likes of usual Anal spew of dumb saying Mace Windu/Yoda/Bobba Fett/Gonk droid is Snoke!

 Something utterly devastating must have happened to send Luke into exile and basically turn himself into the galactic Howard Hughes, not seen by anyone for decades, not sure if he's even still alive. Gone so long he's become a legend, whispered about unsure if he even existed as real guy.
  My theory is, Luke had many students in his Jedi Academy, his most promising was nephew Ben Solo., son of his best friend, Han Solo and sister, Leia Organa.
  Somewhere along the way, Kylo and Luke have a conflict of ideas. Perhaps Kylo feels he's being held back, not being taught what he wants to know- even worse, maybe he becomes intoxicated with the cult of personality surrounded by his grandfather,Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. The allure of the Sith is too much, the coveting of power by the young one flips the switch and he enlists several other students, who feel the same way- Christened as The Knight of Ren, Founder Kylo Ren goes on an ape shit tear and begins striking down all who stand in his way. His first target is Uncle Luke. Being half Skwalker. He hates all he stands for- reasons we have yet to know, he wants to kill him for some perceived slight. He tries- Luke is knocked out, his Academy destroyed, both in figurative and literal sense. Kylo kills all the students, mows them all down. One refuses to die- Luke's wife; in the crappy old EU it was Mara Jade – in the new canon, we have no clue. Perhaps she stands in defense of their daughter REY- Kylo and the Knights kill mother and out of sheer spite, steal REY and spirit her off to the planet of Jakku- Luke fears she's dead, but has no real clue. Not wanting to put his sister and the Resistance in the spotlight, he hides away. He spends his time in exile, trying to communicate with his daughter, not sure if she's dead or alive, but has no clue where she is. Meanwhile the Knights of Ren and Kylo burn the Jedi Academy out of existence and make Luke the most wanted man in the galaxy. Han Solo runs off to help find Rey and to soothe the heartache created by his son's betrayal.
Although Kylo acted a little surprised by Rey's appearance in TFA; maybe he left it up to someone else to dispose of her, maybe they were suppose to kill her and instead stole her from Kylo- Lars San Tekka, perhaps?
  If these questions aren't answered, The Last Jedi could possibly be considered a failure. I doubt any of this happens, but these are merely my musings, I have no way to know how this will turn out, but the days are slowly coming towards us to find out. Can't wait.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

“Unlearn what you have learned”


  Many reasons have been dissected and stated why the Jedi were exterminated. Most of it was self-inflicted; hubris, arrogance thinking their way was the only way. The most significant reason was not ironically, not standing up for their core beliefs. Mace Windu himself stated, “We are not Soldiers, but peace keepers.” Yet we have Anakin, Obi Wan being slapped with titles of General and leading their clone troops and Jedi cohorts into war. The Jedi allowed their arrogance to take place of their moral center. Had they stood up to Palpatine and told him they are not soldiers, they could have had him removed from office, but instead of fighting a war on moral grounds, they fought a war politically, which meant they were on the losing side. No matter who won the war, they lost since it was contrived from the beginning and the only winner was going to be Palpatine and he was damn sure not going to share that victory and any possible blow back would be blamed on the Jedi- and it was. 
   Add all the drama with Anakin, it was a real shit show and it's biggest performers lost big time. Mace and everyone else- murdered , Obi Wan, Yoda, Ahsoka, driven into exile.
Imagine having everything you ever believed in, fought for, burned to the ground, dismissed and practically purged from history.
 To the prequel bashers, Yoda is two different characters from each trilogy for a reason. The PT tested the Jedi and their beliefs and they totally failed- they refused to stand up to Palpatine and his evil empire. When he teaches Luke about the Force with the utmost reverence and caution, he ain't kidding. 
 Hatred led to Anakin's turn and the Jedi going to war. No Midichlorians for him and the blood tests- Yoda was going to make sure that the core values returned and the Jedi would live on in Luke for no other than reason than to prove Love does beat hate. Luke doesn't win by being a pussy pacifist, he wins by not clouding his mind with hate, emotion and ego. He wins by showing compassion for his father. He wins by believing in the core values of the Jedi. No war General, no titles, no planning, just the Force and his strength of character.
 Yoda lived his final years in exile, shamed, painted a fugitive, but he had the final word as Luke showed them all you didn't need the Jedi or the Sith to be a powerful Force user. Luke was given two choices when going to face Vader and Palpatine, he chose his own path, the third choice.
Luke taught Yoda and Obi Wan that the Force was not a schoolhouse lesson or a recipe on a card, but an ongoing, living breathing entity that needed constant nourishment and adjustment. And it's users do the same. 
 Ironically, the Jedi had rules and notions of how the Force worked, but never once did they accept that it was their equal, not their tool to used as they wish. Anakin abused the tool, Luke perfected it.